Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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