My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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