Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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