yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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