i think i have two assholes
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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