tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
