Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
