he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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