Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
