My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize