Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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