My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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