Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The air was thick with penises
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
