id be glad to
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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