I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize