Im at strip club and am horny
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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