I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
