So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
It's blow job season.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
