She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
