No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
