Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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