i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize