it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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