I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
