I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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