They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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