i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
