dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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