Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
