Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize