I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
