First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Just invented taco cereal.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
