i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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