I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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