it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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