butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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