there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
