There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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