Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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