Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
