make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I need a burrito and a hug.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize