Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
