I just cut my nipple shaving
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
