but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I will be naked everywhere
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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