I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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