The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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