Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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