My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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