Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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