I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
