Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I wish i was in the wii world.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
