Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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