He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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