I feel like I'm in dance class right now
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
