Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Randomize
