i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
