my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
how does that bad decision feel?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
