I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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