it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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