Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
this will be a night to untag.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Randomize
