I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
